Honcho Cover

Tracy was my first lover. That’s what we used to call them back in the day. And what a lover he was. He was the first real relationship I had after coming out to the military and with my family. I was wearing a little tank top, leaning against the wall with my knee up like I had seen other men who were cruising do. What did I know? He walked by me with a huge smirking grin like only Tracy could do, snapped my tank top strap and said, “whimp”. Then walked off. I don’t think anybody else could have pulled that off without seeming like a complete asshole. But I knew somehow that it meant that he liked what he saw.
I gathered the courage to go talk to him and we were together from then on… until we weren’t.
Tracy was an enigma in many ways. There were always hazy rumors about his past beyond just being a know hound dog for sex. There were the rumors that he hustled on Santa Monica Blvd. There were the rumors that he slept with Freddie Mercury. And there were the rumors of his porn star past.
Eventually, I did get a chance to see the Honcho magazine. Truth be told, he wasn’t ashamed of it in any way. He was proud of it, but he didn’t really promote it too much because somehow the photographer managed to make his dick look smaller than it really was. That really pissed him off. He had a reputation and he didn’t want it tarnished in any way.
As someone who has had his dick down my throat and up my ass, I can attest that it is indeed bigger than it looks in these photos. But the hottest picture of the bunch, in my opinion, is the cover shot of him licking his armpit in mirrored glasses. Tracy’s face and facial expressions relayed his sexuality. everyone who talked with him felt that, even those who knew he was never going to have sex with them. He could have given Ted talks on Flirting. He was the master at it.
When we moved to San Diego, Tracy was getting a bit older and HIV was starting to be a looming presence. He knew that I was new to all of this and wasn’t going to become monogamous anytime soon (like never). He was craving stability that I wasn’t going to be able to give him. He found another partner and He and I stayed close until his death a couple of years later.
I can remember at the memorial service asking his partner about the Honcho magazine and if it was something he could part with. He told me that he didn’t want to let that go and felt it was somehow disrespectful to Tracy’s memory. It’s not something to argue about so I left it alone. I knew that Tracy was very proud of that Honcho edition.
Over the years, during every trip to San Francisco, I would go to a used gay porn store on 18th street called Auto Erotica (it’s still there) and search through the bins of old Honcho magazines. I’d spend hours sometimes flipping through the bins to no avail.
About two years ago, while living in San Francisco, I decided to give it another shot. I walked up the stairs and one of the first things I saw was an old tee shirt for sale that was from a bar I worked at in San Diego called Wolfs. I had never had a tee shirt from there and was excited to get my hands on it. It gave me hope that my luck was running hot. I walked over to the bins and flipped one magazine forward and there was Tracy’s beautiful face beaming up at me in Mirrored sunglasses. It was indeed my lucky day. I also found a Drummer magazine that had an ad in it that featured Tracy as one of the models.
I’ve had many times when I felt that Tracy was helping me out and guiding me along if only to help me have a great night of sex. This was one of the times when I knew that Tracy and I still had a connection.
So here are the photos from that Honcho and Drummer magazine that I’ve been writing about. Just remember that his dick was way bigger than it looks. Tracy would want you to know that. Also, know that I still love him with all my heart and miss him every day.

Tracy Tow 1

Tracy Tow 2

Tracy Tow 3

Tracy Tow 4

Tracy Tow 5

Drummer Ad

Tracy Drummer Ad