A little ditty for your next Bar outing that I wrote.

I need someone to put it to music

He’s got a big dick in his underwear,
Has to let it out just to get some air,
Likes to swing it ’round like he just don’t care
He’s got a big dick in his underwear! (Get some Air!)

He’s got a heavy, floppy, saggy pair,
Slapping off his thighs through the open air,
like two big pears lost in Stalin’s hair—
He’s got a heavy, floppy, saggy pair, (Saggy Pair!)

He’s got a fat schlong in his boxer shorts,
A fat piece of meat like a loin of pork
Couldn’t pin it down with a harpoon fork—
He’s got a fat schlong in his boxer shorts! (Loin of Pork!)

He’s got a big arse like two tasty cakes,
Hairy as hell—looks like it needs a rake,
Barstools whimper when he parks those cakes—
He’s got a big arse like two tasty cakes! (Tasty Cakes!)